Pending Storm ~ Gert

"Honestly, it reminds me of raising kids – and family struggles. How many times we’ve begged and pleaded, tried one method or another, and continued to find a child (or several of them) uncooperative and determined to win the draw. Some of us tiptoe around our kids, doing whatever we can not to “set them off” so they won’t be upset with us. Sometimes we ignore a pending storm, hoping if we ignore it, it will simply go away.  Sometimes we try to confront the problem, but find the way we handled it only made things worse. There’s a way to handle kids in that pouting or belligerent mode, and that’s to “reset” them. I used to do this with our kids, and I’ve done it with foster kids. Most times, it works like a charm......... Sometimes we as adults could stand some “resetting” ourselves. Even our marriages can benefit from this! To reset is to simply shut things down and wait until all the wires and sparks are completely cooled off. When there are no sparks, there won’t be heat.  If there’s no heat, there won’t be a fire. When the fire is out, it’s safe to resume."

~ Gert

More at https://mywindowsill.com/

Artwork from Gustave Baumann

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustave_Baumann

Nothing in Anger ~ Amish Rules of a Godly Life

"Do nothing in anger, but consider well before you act, lest you be sorry later and will acquire a name of evil repute. In time your anger will cool and you will be able to decide wisely what has to be done. Make a difference between one who has wronged you against his will through lack of forethought, and one who has deliberately and maliciously done so. Be gracious to the former and let your reactions toward the latter be tempered with righteousness."
~ Amish Rules of a Godly Life

More at  http://hayquaker1.blogspot.co.uk/p/rules-of-life-translated-by-joseph.html

Speak Well of Them ~ Amish Rules of a Godly Life

"Do not speak evil of friends; rather, speak well of them wherein they deserve praise. What is not praiseworthy keep to yourself. Slanderings and scornful gossip are poison to any friendship. If you are present when others speak disrespectfully of one who is absent, search first your own heart before joining in; without doubt you will find there the same (or greater) shortcomings. This should move you to better yourself, and yet keep you from speaking evil of others and belittling them."

Taken from the Amish book 'Rules of a Godly Life'

More at  http://hayquaker1.blogspot.co.uk/p/rules-of-life-translated-by-joseph.html

Frayed around the Edges ~ Pamela Haines

"To mend something well, you have to understand how it’s put together. How do the seams work in a dress? What is the process of knitting that will allow me to repair a long unravelling  It can be hard when, in order to fix something, you have to take a first step that makes it worse. I don’t mind disassembling things; if I just pay attention I have a fair amount of confidence that I can get them back together. But with my wobbly dining room chairs I needed the support of a more experienced friend to know that, before they could be solidly re-glued  I had to knock the joints completely apart. Once I had good access to all those pegs and holes, it was easy to know what to do.....

Then there is the relationship that gets broken or torn or frayed around the edges. The impulse to just throw it out and get a new one can be strong. But we can practice mending here as well—acknowledging our part, listening from the heart, saying we’re sorry, not giving up on ourselves or the other person, putting in the time to be in contact. What if we thought of mending as a critical activity in our quest for a truly liveable world? Then every time we sewed a button, every time we apologized, or repaired something rather than throwing it out, we could remember that we are building the skills, muscles, and attitudes that are needed to make our world whole."


~ Pamela Haines

More at http://www.friendsjournal.org/2007114/

I woulod love to give full credit for the quilting, but all I can find out is that it was made by 'Amy'.

Life is Never Fair ~ Johann Christoph Arnold

"What does forgiving really mean? Clearly it has little to do with human fairness, which demands an eye for an eye, or with excusing, which means brushing something aside. Life is never fair, and it is full of things that can never be excused. When we forgive someone for a mistake or a deliberate hurt, we still recognize it as such, but instead of lashing  out or biting back, we attempt to see beyond it, so as to restore our relationship with the person responsible for it. Our forgiveness may not take away our pain – it may not even be acknowledged or accepted – yet the act of offering  it will keep us from being sucked into the downward spiral  of resentment. It will also guard us against the temptation of taking out our anger or hurt on someone else."

~ Johann Christoph Arnold

More at http://www.plough.com/en/ebooks/w/why-forgive

More about Bruderhof Communities http://www.bruderhof.com/

Fears of Discovering ~ Iris Graville

"I know that many people throughout the world face the kind of conflict that threatens their lives. I’m blessed to live in a time and place that is not fraught with such violence, fortunate to rarely encounter hostility in my daily life. And yet, I don’t feel in unity with everyone, at all times. Whether it’s in my Quaker Meeting, at work, in my family, or among friends and community, sometimes tempers flare, opposing views swirl, or anger erupts. When that happens, there’s the familiar churn of my stomach. My heart races, my throat closes up, my head throbs. I’m afraid.

The conflicts most common in my life stir fears of discovering I’m wrong or have made a mistake. I succumb to old beliefs from childhood that there is a “right” way to act or believe, as if there is only one right answer. I fear disapproval and rejection. In introductory psychology, I learned that animals respond to fear in one of two ways – fight or flight. I don’t want to do either, yet engaging with the differences brings a pounding to my chest.

Quaker practice has taught me to listen, to lead with a question instead of defending my opinion. When I remember to ask, rather than answer, I open myself to the possibility that there is something for me to learn."

~ Iris Graville

More at  http://bloggerbyconvincement.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Quakers

Owning up to our own Negative Side

"The places to begin acquiring the skills and maturity and generosity to avoid or to resolve conflicts are in our own homes, our personal relationships, our schools, our workplaces, and wherever decisions are made. We must relinquish the desire to own other people, to have power over them, and to force our views on to them. We must own up to our own negative side and not look for scapegoats to blame, punish, or exclude. We must resist the urge towards waste and the accumulation of possessions.

Conflicts are inevitable and must not be repressed or ignored but worked through painfully and carefully. We must develop the skills of being sensitive to oppression and grievances, sharing power in decision making, creating consensus, and making reparation."


Aotearoa/New Zealand Yearly Meeting, 1987

More at    http://qfp.quakerweb.org.uk/qfp24-10.html

Artwork from Eleni Kalorkoti
https://www.elenikalorkoti.com/