"When one’s existence which has seemed quite secure suddenly melts away, when one is cut off externally at least from the circle of one’s family and friends and must rely entirely on one’s self in an indifferent hostile world; when the ground is taken from under one’s feet and the air one breathes is taken away, when every security fails and every support gives way—then one stands face to face with the Eternal and confronts Him without protection and with fearful directness. Then I understood what Cromwell meant when he said that it was a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Then I understood that it was not man but God who was sitting in judgment. With one stroke everything is transformed: good intentions no longer have any value, the omissions and the things I had left undone in my life in the world all can no longer be made up; failure to love or errors can no longer be set right. What remained for me was an annihilating register of debts. I now saw that what the fancy of the medieval artists represented as taking place on the Day of Judgment was happening here and now in this earthly life. The level of my human existence was not only brought into question but was shattered and stripped from me by the Eternal."
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